It's Only The Box and Gift Wrap...Nothing More.

I grew up in a large family of ten children. When we were young, as I'm sure you can imagine, our home was nothing short of chaotic. And in addition to the perpetual noise, motion, activity, etc., was the inevitable clutter and messes that accompany so many young children.

I was the fifth of the ten. And so, as a young teenager I clearly remember not wanting to have friends over to my house. I would go into their homes and they would be clean, and organized, and decorated well. (As the family I grew up in grew older that became the case for us, but while there was still a house FULL of young ones....it just wasn't.) I would be envious of the beauty and order of other's homes. Not one of them had a sofa which affectionately was called the "pee couch." It was the couch in our family room termed so because inevitably a toddler would have an accident on it while watching T.V., and over time....well....you get the point.)

I am now 41 years old, and I still distinctly remember the day as a young girl that I made the decision my home would be a clean, and organized, and beautiful one. And CERTAINLY it would NEVER, EVER have a "pee couch."

And, then I found myself in my early twenties married with a small child. And, my house was clean, and organized, and well decorated. However, it began dawning on me that in my desire to keep it that way, I wasn't really letting Steffen (my firstborn) really live. I was constantly following behind him picking up whatever it was he was messing up. It was no life for me....and I'm sure it sent the wrong messages to Steffen as well. Let's face it....creativity requires making a a mess to enable ending up with a masterpiece. Steffen was and is still a person full of creativity. Sadly, without even knowing or understanding it at the time, I was conditioning him to stifle his creativity....not intentionally....but nonetheless I was. Which being a creative person myself, was a painful realization to make.

I am and have always been a very visual person. I guess that's why aesthetics have always mattered to me. I love fashion, decorating, art....you name it. I have always said that the Prophet could probably choose to build cinder-block temples for much cheaper and they would probably do the job. But even our Heavenly Father understands the need for beauty. However, what I was missing in my efforts was BALANCE. Even our beautiful temples get used heavily! Yes, they are closed down from time to time for deep cleanings, but they are used....and used well. They aren't musuems, they are places for the work of the Lord to occur...and much work occurs there. In my loss of balance and perspective, I had ceased to be a Homemaker and had become simply a Home Decorator.

Again, begin a visual person....the Lord often teaches me through visual things. One night after retiring to bed when Steffen was probably only about two, I had a dream. It was a dream I will NEVER forget.

In my dream I saw an absolutely beautiful wrapped present. (My favorite kind of present to get...I totally appreciate a good gift wrap!) However, as I looked at that present, complete with a perfectly tied wire ribbon, the following thoughts flooded my mind:

My home was like that beautifully wrapped present....lovely to look out and wonderful to make the box pleasing. HOWEVER, it became very clear to me that I needed to remember that the thing that made the present of value wasn't the nice ribbon or the expensive paper, or even the box. The treasure was the actual GIFT housed within the box. The contents of the box was what mattered! The bow would be untied and the paper eventually cast aside....but the CONTENTS of the box...MY FAMILY....was what mattered!

I will never forget that dream. It has changed my life forever. Yes, I will always want a clean and orderly home. I will always want it decorated well, I will always notice if a picture hanging on the wall has been tipped a bit off balance....even if only a smidget. (I'm weird like that.) But I learned the need for greater perspective and balance in these matters.

Anyway, this dream has weighed heavily on my mind as I am packing up to move from what has probably been the very favorite home I have ever lived in. It is a home I have truly adored. It has been a place I love to be. Every corner reflects my tastes and preferences. I have found great joy living here. And, truthfully, I have been shedding several tears in the process of packing.

But as I push forward with my packing, I am visualizing in my mind that beautifully wrapped present in my dream...and then reminding myself....it is only a box....JUST A BOX. And the GIFT is my children. They are my treasures, and they are priceless. And we will move on to another box....and I will wrap it as well as I can in lovely paper....complete with wire ribbon. It will be a much smaller box, and the paper and ribbon perhaps not as luxurious, but that is O.K. It is O.K. because I am taking with me the GIFT housed within....and there is NOTHING, NOTHING that matters more.

Love,
Shannon