My Version of "Welcome To Holland"

There is a well known article titled "Welcome to Holland" written by Emily Pearl Kingsley. It is written as a mother's expression of her feelings expecting a baby only to discover she would be the mother of a baby with disabilities.

Tonight I read this article and could not help but consider the similarities expressed by this mother to what I am feeling so deeply in my life right now as I find myself a divorced mother of five children. When I was a child and when a teacher would ask me at school what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always say "I want to get married and be a mom." I had other dreams as well, but first and foremost I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother.

And so, in my early twenties I married and became that....a wife and mother. And I have loved both roles and dedicated myself to both roles completely.

But as often occurs, life throws curve balls. And now in my early forties, five children later, I am suddenly a mother, but no longer having the key element in a family of a husband. I am finding myself feeling as if I have entered the "Twilight Zone," or a foreign country that I am completely unfamiliar with....not even knowing the most basic language phrases necessary to get around with.

And so, tonight I took the liberty to change up "Welcome to Holland" to reflect the deepest feelings of my heart as I begin the process of facing my own new realities in an unplanned destination.



My Twist to WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved


[When you marry, build a family, and then find yourself divorced,] "it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."

Here is to hoping I can find myself at a place where I can learn to appreciate the beauty of Holland.

Love,
Shannon