Celebrating 43!
43 years ago today, on 8-9-1969, at exactly 8:00 a.m. I came into this world. And just two weeks ago I had the opportunity to go back and visit the home I lived in until I was four. My best friend William took me back to visit. It was a very emotional experience for me. Here is that home:
Here is what I looked like when I left that home in Beaverton, Oregon and moved with my family to Seattle, Washington:
This morning, I awoke feeling more emotional than I would have anticipated about the day. My life has changed over the past two years more than I could have EVER imagined. There is simply no way this innocent looking little girl in the picture above could even begin to know or understand the ways in which life would stretch her...much like an elastic stretched to the point, at moments, that it would seem that the only possible outcome would be to snap and break. It would seem that way, anyway.
The reality, however, has been the opposite. The elastic has forever been changed from the stretching...there is no question at that...its shape has changed. It is stretched and therefore larger. The gift is that because it is larger it is capable of holding more together...with less stretching. For that, I am truly grateful. My children deserve that. I deserve that. The people in my life deserve that.
Most especially, the past 43 years has taught me that holding it together requires the wisdom to know what to let go of! It is so much easier to hold together things when there are not unnecessary things in that bundle to be held.
I found this poem this week. It grabbed my heart. It reads:
LET GO
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else;
To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another;
To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences;
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands;
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself;
To "let go" is not to "care for,"
but to "care about;"
To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being;
To "let go" is to not be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies;
To "let go" is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality;
To "let go" is not to deny,
but to accept;
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them;
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it;
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be;
To "let go" is to not regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future;
To "let go" is to fear less and love more.
-Anonymous
My life is so full of love! I have learned that family are the people that truly show up for you, love you, serve you without strings, and support you in your dreams. I have learned that everyone has an opinion and thinks that their opinion is "THE" opinion...but it is important for me to choose wisely those whom I allow to be mentors in my life. The fruits of our mentors should be the fruits we are seeking for ourselves!
I have learned the importance of being authentic, and its importance in the lives of those we are here to touch. I read a young man's story this week. I wept as I read this:
"[This] young man's father was the minister of the local church. This minister cautioned his son and daughter that their behavior must always be beyond reproach or it would reflect poorly on him and his position in the community. The fear of God was instilled into them, and they grew up with the firm belief that God was like a punitive parent whom they must at all costs obey, and even fear, if they strayed too far off the narrow path outlined by their father. They were also fully aware that their father was highly regarded by the congregation as an example of how one should live a correct life as a Christian. However, in the home they witnessed behavior quite the reverse of the father's social behavior. They observed the many times their mother, reduced to tears, was obviously in fear of his angry attacks, cruel criticism, and sarcasm...."
"So, not only was God presented to the children as a strict and critical father figure, but their own father was a carbon copy of the image of God which he believed to be true."
This story, although not exactly my story, resonated powerfully with me because for my own reasons I grew up thinking I had to be perfect to receive God's love. My 15- year old daughter came out of a Young Woman's class last week with tears streaming down her face. A Bishopric member had spent the previous 45 minutes explaining to the combined young women that God does not love them when they don't keep His commandments. She said, "Mom, my heart and spirit knew this wasn't true, it was angry and offended at the lie, but I didn't know what to do!"
I am grateful that after 43 years I know the lie in this belief. For I am a parent of children who have struggled themselves. I know that it is often at those moments of their greatest struggles that my heart and love are most full for them. As a mother it is often at those moments I wish I could "fix" things, but I know that this is their journey and what they need is my love and support and not my meddling or tearing down with words full of fear to control or manipulate. And truthfully, what I think is fixing could be completely contrary to the Lord's individual plan for them.
I have a new paradigm on life and the Lord. I find no motivation in trying to be more for Him to love me. I already know that with all my imperfections, HE ALREADY DOES LOVE ME. This song has become powerful for me and my children this year:
43 looks pretty darn good! I have five amazing children that I truly adore, my William whom I adore and who adores me, a group of people I call my "family" for their unconditional love, support, and trust in me and my choices, and a Father in Heaven and Savior who never fail me!
So here is to jumping for joy as I celebrate 43!
Love,
Shannon
Here is what I looked like when I left that home in Beaverton, Oregon and moved with my family to Seattle, Washington:
This morning, I awoke feeling more emotional than I would have anticipated about the day. My life has changed over the past two years more than I could have EVER imagined. There is simply no way this innocent looking little girl in the picture above could even begin to know or understand the ways in which life would stretch her...much like an elastic stretched to the point, at moments, that it would seem that the only possible outcome would be to snap and break. It would seem that way, anyway.
The reality, however, has been the opposite. The elastic has forever been changed from the stretching...there is no question at that...its shape has changed. It is stretched and therefore larger. The gift is that because it is larger it is capable of holding more together...with less stretching. For that, I am truly grateful. My children deserve that. I deserve that. The people in my life deserve that.
Most especially, the past 43 years has taught me that holding it together requires the wisdom to know what to let go of! It is so much easier to hold together things when there are not unnecessary things in that bundle to be held.
I found this poem this week. It grabbed my heart. It reads:
LET GO
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else;
To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another;
To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences;
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands;
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself;
To "let go" is not to "care for,"
but to "care about;"
To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being;
To "let go" is to not be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies;
To "let go" is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality;
To "let go" is not to deny,
but to accept;
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them;
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it;
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be;
To "let go" is to not regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future;
To "let go" is to fear less and love more.
-Anonymous
My life is so full of love! I have learned that family are the people that truly show up for you, love you, serve you without strings, and support you in your dreams. I have learned that everyone has an opinion and thinks that their opinion is "THE" opinion...but it is important for me to choose wisely those whom I allow to be mentors in my life. The fruits of our mentors should be the fruits we are seeking for ourselves!
I have learned the importance of being authentic, and its importance in the lives of those we are here to touch. I read a young man's story this week. I wept as I read this:
"[This] young man's father was the minister of the local church. This minister cautioned his son and daughter that their behavior must always be beyond reproach or it would reflect poorly on him and his position in the community. The fear of God was instilled into them, and they grew up with the firm belief that God was like a punitive parent whom they must at all costs obey, and even fear, if they strayed too far off the narrow path outlined by their father. They were also fully aware that their father was highly regarded by the congregation as an example of how one should live a correct life as a Christian. However, in the home they witnessed behavior quite the reverse of the father's social behavior. They observed the many times their mother, reduced to tears, was obviously in fear of his angry attacks, cruel criticism, and sarcasm...."
"So, not only was God presented to the children as a strict and critical father figure, but their own father was a carbon copy of the image of God which he believed to be true."
This story, although not exactly my story, resonated powerfully with me because for my own reasons I grew up thinking I had to be perfect to receive God's love. My 15- year old daughter came out of a Young Woman's class last week with tears streaming down her face. A Bishopric member had spent the previous 45 minutes explaining to the combined young women that God does not love them when they don't keep His commandments. She said, "Mom, my heart and spirit knew this wasn't true, it was angry and offended at the lie, but I didn't know what to do!"
I am grateful that after 43 years I know the lie in this belief. For I am a parent of children who have struggled themselves. I know that it is often at those moments of their greatest struggles that my heart and love are most full for them. As a mother it is often at those moments I wish I could "fix" things, but I know that this is their journey and what they need is my love and support and not my meddling or tearing down with words full of fear to control or manipulate. And truthfully, what I think is fixing could be completely contrary to the Lord's individual plan for them.
I have a new paradigm on life and the Lord. I find no motivation in trying to be more for Him to love me. I already know that with all my imperfections, HE ALREADY DOES LOVE ME. This song has become powerful for me and my children this year:
43 looks pretty darn good! I have five amazing children that I truly adore, my William whom I adore and who adores me, a group of people I call my "family" for their unconditional love, support, and trust in me and my choices, and a Father in Heaven and Savior who never fail me!
So here is to jumping for joy as I celebrate 43!
Love,
Shannon
