My Baby Turns Five Today!

Dearest Chloe,

If I can get through this letter without tears...well that is just not going to happen. It seems impossible to me that it was five years ago today, just seconds before midnight, that you were born.

Just as your sister Olivia, you were a C-Section. However, there was one difference...Olivia's birth was planned, and yours was a late night trip to the hospital for an emergency procedure.

The spirit had testified to me that night that something was very wrong, and sure enough it was discovered when I went into the hospital that when I had gone in the day before for testing to see if your lungs were developed, Chorio was the result. You needed to be delivered right then.

And there you were, born to the tunes of the Beach Boys playing in the O.R. I will never, ever forget that moment. And I knew it would be the last time in mortality I would have the privilege of giving birth. There were tears of joy to meet this new and incredible daughter, and yet a few tears of sorrow shed at knowing you were my last baby.

Being a mom has been the biggest gift in my life! And you, my Coco, have played such a role in that gift. That night, as my new beautiful daughter lay in my arms the spirit testified to me of just what a gift you would be.

After your birth I went through a severe bout of Postpartum Depression. It was the darkest and most difficult period in my life that I have ever experienced. But there you were lying peacefully next to me as I lay in my bed and wept. You didn't cry like most newborns do. You simply laid there looking up at me with those big beautiful blue eyes...almost as if your little spirit understood my pain and was there wanting to offer peace and comfort.

And the dark days eventually passed, and I discovered I had the most amazing little daughter named Chloe Rose Baker! The name Chloe came from your Great Great Grandmother Emma McConkie's best friend and cousin Cloe Shepherd. I have letters these girls wrote to each other as young children. My grandmother gave them to me when I named your sister Emma, after her mother. I knew then that I would someday name a daughter Chloe to honor those cousins and dear friends.

And so, my dear daughter Chloe, as tradition goes, here are FIVE things I LOVE about you on this your FIFTH Birthday:

1. Chloe, I LOVE that you brought with you an incredibly strong spirit! Yes, this can sometimes be a challange, but I remind myself that it will be your INCREDIBLE strength that will carry you through this life. You have come into this world at a critical time in the winding up scenes of the Savior's gospel. I have the sure witness through the spirit that your iron will is a gift, and if you will always stay close to your Heavenly Father and your Savior...it will help to carry you through anything!

2. Chloe, I LOVE that you are so brave and invested in life and are quick to want to be a part of everything! No matter what it is you will say "I want to do it to!" Even if it is something as small as a late night run to Chevron for treats or as big as wanting to ride the rafts off the back of Aunt Amy's boat with the big kids. You want to be part of life!

3. Chloe, I LOVE that you are so in love with your Mama. While your not wanting to ever be apart from me can sometimes be challanging...especially when I have a work appointment to go to and you are standing at the garage door with tears streaming down your sweet cheeks...I adore that you adore me. "Hug and kiss, hug and kiss, Mom," you will ALWAYS say before we part for something.

4. Chloe, I LOVE that whenever I ask what your favorite thing in the world to do is your answer is always, "going to Walmart with you." I am sure you won't be quite as easy to please as you grow older, but I LOVE that just being pushed around in a cart, looking at stuff, and then choosing a treat at the register is to you pure heaven.

5. Chloe, I LOVE that I get to be your mother! Heavenly Father saved you for my last. I know this. You came into my life at the perfect time, even a time FULL of challanges for me. But, that said, you truly have been nothing short of a gift to me. Even this past year that has been full of sadness as it has been an ending and a beginning for our family, your sweet spirit and good nature have blessed me by giving me a reason to get up every day! And your climbing into my bed to "nuggle" (snuggle) every night has reminded me that I am not alone. I am so grateful you came to our family at the very time that you did, and that you have blessed us so much by simply being sweet, sensitive, strong, stubborn, wonderful you! I wouldn't change a thing about you....you are incredible!

It is my prayer that this new year will be full of joy, laughter, fun, and growth! You deserve all good things, Chloe! I love you, Chloe, with all of my heart!

Love Always and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Mom